Marrying your partner means marrying your in-laws too. There will be days when you feel as though you hate your in-laws. Of course, nobody wants to admit that, right? Grab your cup of tea and sit down. Let’s talk about those monster-in-laws of yours!
OOOMMMGGG, the Feelings Might be Mutual
You’ve dreamed of this wedding for a long time, maybe even your whole life. A breathtakingly beautiful ceremony in Central Park, across from the person you love celebrating the love you share. Everything about the relationship is great, all except the in-laws. The dream of a perfect wedding is slowly slipping away thanks to those crazy monster-in-laws of yours. Yes, the in-laws that you hate! Guess what? Their feelings may or may not be mutual. This can leave you stressed, frustrated, and possibly heartbroken.
So let’s not sugar coat this touchy subject. Your secret is safe with us. You aren’t the only person searching the internet for the phrase “I hate my in-laws.” Many married or soon-to-be-married couples have probably thought at some point in the relationship, “I hate my in-laws.” Maybe the in-laws have made it pretty apparent that they, too, don’t care much about you either. What if they don’t just dislike you, but they really dislike you? They despise you so much that they went to the extreme of trying to find another person for your partner to date, and they aren’t afraid for it to be known. You may think we’re just pulling your leg by now, but it happens more often than you think.
Ok, moving along. We’ve established the fact that you have those ill feelings towards your in-laws, and maybe they have them too, but your love for your partner is stronger than those moments of hate you have for the future monster in-laws.
Being cordial with them is crucial to having a good relationship with your partner. With that being said, keep planning your dream wedding ceremony and find a way to be civil. Below are some tips that can help you deal with your future in-laws and the issues that may arise.
Tip # 1. Don’t Take Things Personal
Most of the time, the in-laws’ issues are with your partner and have nothing to do with you. SORRY to break the news, you just became an easy target. Think about it. Was your future spouse at the beck and call of his/her parents or other family members until “you came along and ruined everything” for them? Yeah, or maybe they are overprotective, and nobody will ever be “good enough” for them. However, you need to remember that it’s not personal, and you are good enough for your partner. HELLO! That is why they are marrying you!
Tip # 2. Don’t Blame Your Partner for What they Cannot Control
Consider this when dealing with a stressful situation with your in-laws; you can only control yourself; you have no control over others. With that being said, don’t blame your partner for the actions of your future monster in-laws. This will only lead to chaos in your relationship and marriage. Instead, focus on the relationship that you have with your partner and trust that they will handle the situation with your future in-laws appropriately.
Tip # 3. Always Keep the Lines of Communication Open with Your Partner
Let your partner know when something is bothering you, and encourage your partner to do the same. Open communication is an essential component for a healthy relationship and successful marriage. Your partner may not be aware of your feelings towards his/her family, just as you may be unaware of how they feel about yours. Talk about things, and don’t make assumptions.
Tip # 4. Stay Away From the Drama
Some people love drama. Don’t be one of them, and don’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they have caused some sort of disorder in your life. That includes fights between siblings or parents too. No, that doesn’t mean you are a pushover. You’re just going to do whatever you can to stay away from the drama. Why? You have to protect your peace, sanity, and your relationship.
Tip # 5. Choose Your Battles
Yes, sometimes you really have to be the bigger person and pick your battles. Not everything is worth arguing or fighting over. Invest your time and energy in creating a healthy relationship with your partner and a strong foundation for your marriage.
Tip # 6. Let go of Your Pride, and Don’t Hold Grudges
Being prideful is not productive in this scenario. It will only create drama in your life. Remember Tip # 4? Stay away from the drama. Nobody is perfect, maybe your future in-laws felt threatened, intimidated, or perhaps they were just trying to test you. Whatever the case may be, don’t hold a grudge against them. Instead, find it in your heart to understand why your future in-laws have acted in a particular manner. This way, you can meet them where they are, work towards forgiving them and shift your focus towards your Happenings Ever After.
Tip # 7. Don’t use the Kids as a Pawn
If you have a child(ren) with your future spouse, don’t use them as a pawn. Unless you have safety concerns, your future in-laws should most definitely be involved in the children’s lives. Your kids deserve to know who their family is, and family is a vital part of raising children.
Tip # 8. Always Be Respectful Regardless of What Happens
Keep your head held high and smile at the monsters. Your actions represent your character as a person. This means, if you act like a fool, you are going to look like a fool. DON’T do it! Remember to always be cordial and respectful towards others, especially your future in-laws. Let’s face it, you may never like them, and they might never like you. You don’t have to like each other. If nothing else, try to find a middle ground of respect and gratitude for them. I mean, technically, if it weren’t for them, you would have never met your partner, right?
Tip # 9 Be Friendly to Your Future Monster In-Laws
Now that you've mastered being respectful be friendly to your future in-laws too. Make an effort to include them in your lives. They are your family, too. Send them a text now and again to check on them. Send them cards for special occasions like their birthdays.
Tip # 10. Enjoy Your Happenings™ Ever After
Relationships take a lot of hard work, communication, and commitment. Most people give up on their dreams of an iconic wedding ceremony because it feels too overwhelming to plan for many different reasons. We’re here to help you create a memory of a lifetime through thoughtfully organized planning tailored to iconic locations throughout Central Park so you can step into your moment with the one that you love.
The reward: A happy, healthy engagement, your dream wedding, a beautiful marriage, and peace with your in-laws.
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Based in Manhattan, Happenings™ founder Tom Noel would often take a walk through Central Park. In 2008, during one of his walks, he stopped to sit at one of his favorite iconic locations in the Park, the Bethesda Fountain. There, Mr. Noel noticed that the intrinsic beauty that surrounded him was not being fully harnessed. He also realized that not a single business provided the exclusiveness of an affordable and high-quality event planner. Determined to change this, Happenings™ was born.